I’ll refer to this as the “Christmas Crime Scene” if that sounds any more PG-13.
Sometime in the last decade, it became generally affordable to buy large holiday lawn decorations that are inflated by a blower that requires constant power. You’ve probably seen them in Wal-Mart. You remember seeing them… giant blizzards in a vinyl ‘snow globe’ or a huge pumpkin with a light inside. You can expect to shell out up to $100 for each of them.
Why do people buy these? I’ve just concluded that giant inflatable lawn ornaments solve a few problems. 1.) Most fathers don’t want to spend a weekend nailing lights to their house on a 20 foot extension ladder. 2.) Kids like them because they look fun and sometimes have motorized movements. 3.) They help you spend enough money that you feel you’ve adequately prepared for the holiday.
So here’s the rub. As I said before, they require constant power. Apparently it’s okay to blow hundred of dollars decorating your front yard for a month, but it doesn’t make financial sense to power them 24/7 throughout the entire holiday season. I’m not saying it’s a good idea to constantly run these things, but it’s a lot like eating 3 candy bars and washing them down with a diet coke. It just looks stupid from the outsider’s perspective.
Enter… THE MASSACRE!
It’s an odd feeling to drive buy a home during the day with their lawn ornaments disabled. Santa and the snowmen are sprawled out flat across the ground. Christmas trees and elves are lying face down on the lawn as though they were victims of some drive by shooting. It’s a little disturbing, slightly Scrooge-like, and always ironic to see such happy characters dead on the lawn.